Proud to be a Girl but I do suffer!!

I am proud to be a girl. I had a happy childhood and decent education as per my liking. I got to marry the person of my choice .Yes I got everything which a girl desires but the fact is as a girl I am unhappy. I consider myself lucky being born in a family which doesn’t discriminate between boys and girls. We all siblings were brought up in same manner. Within safe walls of home we never realised the difference. But once outside every now and then, I have faced situations where I felt Oh God!! why girls only. The safety security factor is so over pounding ..It engulfs all our lives.

I remember once we started higher secondary school many of my friends being stalked every now and then..we used to ride by cycle to school..boys stalking on bikes was a real terror those days..during college days evening classes used to be a stress sometimes because of such incidents..My mother used to be standing in balcony of our house regularly waiting for me .I could sense her fright. In small towns boys teasing ,following girls on bikes was a regular norm..But the terror it caused in our tender minds, the depth of it could never be understood..

At that time whenever I had to walk down the crowded streets I remember boys unnecessarily singing songs and going around instead of passing direct remarks..so cheap and torturing..I thought this phase will pass away..but till date this continues..just a few days before I could hear a man singing a nonsense song when I was waiting for the taxi on road..only difference is now I can turn a deaf ear without fear..

For many years who sits beside in cinema hall used to be a great concern..many of my friends would agree that movie theatres were the common areas for passing lewd remarks or troubling..even today I prefer a corner sit and ensure that proper person is sitting besides my daughter..

Every time we sit in auto we have to be alert..first thing I do is mentally record the auto number and secondly my eyes are always fixed on mirror of autos..in many cases I have caught drivers watching us on back seat..what is the point in staring instead of concentrating on driving..why can we not have the liberty of being free mentally..

One very common notion is that women cannot drive well with confidence, they get disturbed easily. I have myself experienced this that in tricky situations men easily comment ‘’aree some lady is driving, better to keep a safe distance..’’.But the fact is when we girls are driving many men enjoy teasing us by deliberately overriding or honking horns or just crossing wrongfully.. then they feel free to say ladies ko kaha gadi chalani aati hain.

I am a chartered accountant and many feel that I’m so lucky and have such a valued qualification..yes I am very happy to be a CA..I love my profession and my work but I would love to share the trauma I as girl had to go through while pursing this education..The syllabus is vast no doubt but the training is more cumbersome.We girls take pride in proving our equality or superiority but nature has devised certain phenomenon for us..CA educations entails practical training along with exams..for almost 3 years I used to leave home early in morning and would go back at evening or night..for practical training we were required to visit different offices of different clients in same city and sometimes outstation too..the worst part was absence of proper washrooms at these places..In India awareness and importance of proper restrooms is still understated..at commercial places like shops ,godowns, small spaces it used to be painful..In young age we are shy ,we are afraid to talk about this openly..staff members at all offices were not always good..at tender age we can sense problem but don’t have maturity to deal with such situations..running away from situation is also not a solution..I had to learn to deal with different people, different situations by trial error method.Sometimes work used to get over late nights. There were no mobile phones that time.. In small cities after 9-10 pm travelling alone is many times not easy. Every time asking a male colleague to accompany was also irritating and frustrating..Many times we had to travel to rural areas in state transport buses. I remember people being cramped and notorious men finding a chance to tease in such situations..Yuck.I hated all those things which came along with this training. It is not that this happens only in CA training. But somehow I dint enjoy the whole process..for many years after becoming CA I used to feel like discouraging girls to pursue this course..But later when I came to Pune and then Mumbai I felt situation is much better here..offices, workstations are much more safe, comfortable and clean with proper facilities here..I realised that problem is not with course or training but mentality and awareness of society.I just wished everyone to empathise and understand day to day issues girls had to face and bring about reasonable solution. I remember once I tried to complain and senior of our profession said why you girls are so keen to pursue such courses when you are not capable of. I still wonder what capacity..we girls pass exams with flying colours..we are sincere we are dedicated and hardworking.we travel, we deal, we do all tasks well in time...we face all the nonsense going around us and just expect a little sensitivity and understanding of the situation..whats wrong with this expectation???

I am blessed to have a daughter. Daughters are precious and valuable. As a mother I try to protect her..I want her to be strong -mentally ,emotionally, physically to sustain in this big world. Luckliy now days school have inhouse self defence training..whenever I see her practicing some karate moves I feel happy and little assured that she would be self reliant. But truth is also that whenever I open newspaper and read about incidents of harassments in schools, play areas,households chill runs in my spine..Every morning we mothers of daughters ensure specifically that there are lady attendants in school bus..we reach bus stops early so that we are there to receive our daughters in crowd..At such early age we have to make them understand meaning of bad touch and good touch..we are on our toes constantly...In lifts, in changing rooms, in malls, in markets ,in classes ,in hospitals,parking lot ...everywhere our antennas are up always..

Every girl who goes outside home has to face problems which boys don’t. I am not complaining .But I feel it is high time that we girls and our next generations don’t feel this pain .Some strong changes in mindset, strong security measures ,strong changes in society are needed on warfront..why are we still insensitive towards day to day requirements and issues of girls. Every time we cannot go to ask for help, we cannot depend upon others to make us feel secure comfortable, we cannot stay at home either..why can’t we have a safe positive comfortable surrounding with proper basic facilities conducive for our growth and sustenance too.

I feel we all ,especially women power should unite for this cause.We are taking all measures to give equality to women but in that process, the allied the supporting infrastructure needs to be built up too. Proper,clean and safe washrooms/restrooms are need of the hour. We all should try to make provision of same at our workplaces and surrounding public places too.Easy accessibility to self defence training is also necessary. We all should consciously train our girls to be physically and mentally strong. We as women should be ever ready to support and help our female counterparts in whatever manner in whatever capacity possible. Respect of women is utterly important. We should train our sons to respect girls from early age. Anykind of nonsense would not be tolerated should be strongly communicated. Some strong and superfast actions are required to instill fear in notorious mentally sick people so they don’t dare troubling girl force anywhere.. Ultimately we just don’t want our daughters to repent to be born as girlchild at any point of their lives..