Constant Relations-An illusion

I have been watching Siya ke Ram serial very religiously for the last few months. Since my childhood I have heard and read so much about Ramayana. But audio visual effect of the story is magical. The love story of Sita and Ram seems so idealistic till the point Ram disowns her. This fact is so unacceptable though true. Even so much of love, faith, commitment couldn’t save their relation and togetherness.

I feel real life is no different from mythological stories and characters. Distance, disconnect, severance, misunderstandings are part and parcel of life.

We are brought up with so much love and affection by our parents. But the moment we grow up, we have to leave our cosy nests to explore new world, new people and new opportunities. This is true in case of both girls and boys. Children need to step out of their homes. We say world has come closer because of revolution in transport and communication. But this revolution has opened doors far away from homes. Children travel abroad and many of them never come back..Education, career, marriage, reasons are varied but proportion of children leaving their homes in early age is increasing. Once out of their homes attachment remains but connect changes. It is difficult for both to accept the change but fact is parents cannot live with their children always. Blessed are those who get to live with parents as joint families. But for most of them that is not practical and feasible and so they are forced to live away from parents. Earlier only girls were mentally trained to accept this fact, but now boys are equally facing the same dilemma. Love is there but dwelling together remains a distant dream.

Institution of marriage or any love relation is based on commitment,faith,understanding,acceptance,togetherness,unconditional love and support.If any of the component fades away or is missing the very foundation shakes and in no time the relation can get broken. Individuality is important but in any relation there needs to be interdependence to keep bonding alive. New generation is not easily ready to compromise. Everyone wants to chase individual’s dreams. This is good for individual progress but little dangerous for any relation to sail through. The rising number of breakups and divorces is a reflection of same.

Friends are an important pillar of our existence. They are our guide, our emotional partners in life’s journey. But with changes in places, situations and age, equation with friends go on changing. Priorities change so do the position of friends. Best friends are the only friends who accept changes positively and set us free. They are there always for us .This is a beautiful theory I have experienced myself. But some are not so lucky. They lose their best friends in course of life’s journey due to changes in circumstances, misunderstandings and changing priorities.

We meet so many people, bond with so many but no one is constant. People move on as per their choices and preferences. We cannot bind them. Many a times we get very much involved in people surrounding us. More the involvement more the complexities. We start attaching ourselves to every happy and sad moment.We cannot imagine life without them. But at some point in life the other person no longer needs us or is not in a position to give us same importance or priority. The behaviour pattern may not always fit in our set of principles and beliefs. At that time it is difficult to detach.This process is a learning process and is inevitable. This process makes us realise the truth of life that nothing stops in this world. Our life anyways moves on and in course of time we overcome the difficulties and pain of detachment and return to be in harmony with reality of life

I feel though harsh but truth is all relations are illusion. Nothing is permanent in life. We always feel that our loved ones should always be with us. Our parents, our partner, our children our friends our colleagues. But this is not feasible and possible in reality .We all have to adjust and mould according to the challenges and changes posed by life.Everyone is bound by different factors. We cannot control or regulate actions of anyone.

What remains in our hand is to accept this fact at earliest and enjoy and live every moment of life. I feel we should cherish each day, each moment as it comes with people who are important who mean world to us. We should try to give our best to every relation to the extent possible. We should be true to our commitment .Even if our loved ones are far instead of regretting we can be positively connected and practically strong .This strength can only make life beautiful and save us from pain of separation and distance. Span of life is not defined for anyone. Atleast we can add good, happy and positive memories to our journey. All people in our life are like co travellers in a train. They will disembark when their destination comes. We should be ready to face this reality.

Gautam Buddha has rightly said

“In the end only three things matter: How much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go off things not meant for you.”