Our stressed lil kids

The exam season is over and all children are free for few days before new session begins. Obviously social networking sites are full of photos of parents pampering their kids post exams.It is really a delight to see children enjoying some free time .

If we see last two decades the magnitude and nature of stress faced by kids have increased manyfold.The stress is no longer limited to studies and scoring good marks.During our childhood we were oblivious of the word stress till we started on job hunt.Yes exam period used to be scary but there was no stress.Our parents were supportive and there was no hurry to achieve targets or be multitasker or multifaceted.We were allowed to bloom and progress naturally by trial and error method.Lifestyle of people around was more or less same.Family ties,friendships were valued more.But now the scene is quite different. The rise in disposable income, the global exposure, the changing lifestyle, consciousness of living standards have created a world where children are facing challenges every now and then.

In nuclear families with both parents working ,ever since a couple conceives stress starts creeping in.Support during and post pregnancy of family and then childcare is posed with challenges. Instead of granny and aunty now the responsibilities are shifted to nanny.So much of planning goes for welcoming a child right from finances to maternity leave to arranging a nanny to daycare.In tender age child starts going to daycare.Daycare are second home to thousands of children around but for child it’s a different world altogether.Fortunately most of the daycares are professionally managed and attention is given to each and every aspect.But if we think from childrens' perspective they are exposed to preschool and daycares at such a tender age.The ambit has increased.They have no option but to adjust with all.This phenomenon like any coin has two sides.But whenever I think, cosy feeling of homes is definitely missing at any other place.The secured ,protected feeling fades away early.Even if a parent is homemaker still the child is taken to so many activity classes to cut down the free time. With just 2-3 members at home, even parents are left with no option and to keep a child occupied always is a herculean task.

As the child grows nature and range of challenges vary day in day out. The other day my daughter came home in bad mood from her recently started primary school.On enquiring she declared that she will no longer take her favourite cartoon bottle to school. According to her friends, cartoons like chota bheem,doreamon are ok till kindergarten only and they teased her a lot.She was not understanding the sudden change.Buying a new school bag every session with latest character like Elsa,avengers is a must.Items like poha,upma are considered so traditional .Salads,fruits, brown bread sandwitches,chocolate sauce,pancakes are more trendy. I wonder how 6-7 year old kids have gained so much consciousness.

I attended a birthday party recently.After enjoying party before binging on snacks most of children asked for hand sanitiser.This is good from hygiene point of view and even I am equally conscious. But haven’t we taken away care free attitude from children??Nothing has remained straight forward and simple .Take an example of birthday party .Fondant cakes are trendy normal cream cakes are not so in.Fruitjuices,softdrinks are must.Traditional sharbats have no place at childrens party. Professionally organized parties at outside locations like pizza ,burger outlets are fun but creatively organized homeparty with double efforts is ok. Birthday gifts should always have variety. Return gifts should match the requirements and taste of all. For me birthdays have always been about good home cooked food,new dress,friends and family gettogether, good music ,games and dance. Basically it is about good time .We used to be happy with simple greeting card .But I guess with passage of time it has become really hard to please kids.

As the vacation season comes near friends start discussing their plans. Holidaying abroad has become quite common.But for many families it is still a distant dream.Recently I heard a 6 year old grumbling about not having visited any foreign destination.

Considering the alarming rate of child abuse importance of good touch and bad touch is emphasized every now and then.But I have seen children getting really perplexed. They cannot decide whom to allow to touch their cheeks also casually.Even parent have limitation of answering questions raised by their children.A friend’s little son kept on asking every relatives name to decide whether to allow them to touch or not. Naturally my friend got irritated as she was also confused about the answer.

Living in a big society gives me a chance to observe and interact with many children. Girls in middleschool are faced with stress of maintaining length of uniforms. In majority of cases anything below knee is strictly no-no since peers consider it as taboo. Earlier we used to see salons for first time at age of 16-18.Nowadays teenagers are regulars.

With early exposure to everything, everything is preponed.Maturity with early hormonal changes,curiousity combined with available information can mislead the new youngsters easily forcing them to indulge in wrong behaviour.Its very much natural with so many material attractions kids become gogetters and they may be ready to compromise on internal peace,moral values for achieving anything they desire.

Friends change is the rule of nature. We cannot avoid change but are we not compromising on their innocence?? Are we not exposing children to much more than what their little minds can take, understand and manage??Children are knowingly unknowingly pushed into viscous circle of competitive world.This generation is bound to go through emotional,mental ups and downs if thought process is not properly channelized. Drug abuse,sexual abuse,depression,suicides are all outcomes of stressed childhoods to a great extent.

I feel need is to strike a balance. In current scenario onus on parents and guardians is much more. With so much information at their fingertip children are better equipped and strong headed.This generation is bound to be much more aggressive,smart,competitive and hyper.But being exposed to so many things they may lose their track and stability. We need to consciously try to keep our children grounded. We need to make them aware of existing income disparities and train them to differentiate between necessity and luxury. We need to make children realise what is important, what should affect them and how do they shield themselves from materialistic pressures.

We need to train them to value hardwork,relationships and all kinds of resources. We need to make them understand the importance of trust and beliefs.Efforts are required to keep children near to nature, near to our rich culture and values to the extent possible.Knowledge combined with values is need of hour.

We cannot enforce or oblige this generation .At the same time we cannot remain oblivious of turmoil going on in their minds. We need to give time to our kids.We should avoid substituting time with variety of gifts.Need is to have a proper dialogue and keeping all channels of communication open.

We need to use different methodologies ,tricks to understand their state of mind and guide them to sail through.We have to train them to find peace and satisfaction in whatever is best possible and available.We need to create an environment in which they can confide in us.

Friends we have an important role to safeguard and equip our little ones to face and accept the change.Childhood should be anything other than stress. Fear and fuss should have no place.Childhood needs to be colourful full of fun,enriching and happy moments .

It is rightly said by Agatha Crhisty

"One of the luckiest things that can happen to you in life is to have a happy childhood and a loving home."