Happiness-My Choice

“Hey, are you liking your new work, are you happier now?’’ a close friend enquired today. I have recently changed nature of my work and when she asked this question I could not answer her confidently. No doubt I changed my nature of work for achieving some objectives but does that meant I am happier now??

Friends if we observe around or do a self introspection we all are on toes for achieving something. We all have some goals or objectives. These need not be professional only. In day to day life also we have so many domestic goals. Achieving or getting something in a way defines our Happiness. Have you ever wondered that our happiness is in majority of times linked to something-some place, situation, achievement, possession, people?

If our kid gets up early and drinks milk without fuss we are happy, if maids come on time we are happy. If we don’t get traffic on roads we are happy, if there is no power or water cut we are happy .If our work gets completed and appreciated we are happy ,if we are slim and fit we are happy. This list is endless.

Most of our lives we paint a picture of situation or condition and then try to translate that into a reality. We try to define what will make us satisfied and at peace which will then get transformed into our happiness. In a way we attach tags to certain things or events, even behavior of people too. If someone reciprocates to our feeling or behavior in an expected way we are happy but whenever we get an unexpected reaction we may get disturbed, depressed, sad or angry.

I myself love travelling and exploring places a lot. Especially long drives are fun. Sometimes due to weather or work pressures if we don’t go out I start feeling low and bored. Does that mean my happiness or being cheerful is dependent on our travelling???

Recently many of my friends shifted to new cities and locations because of work. For some days I really felt bad and a feeling of prospective loneliness crept in. But for the past so many years we have been changing places and every change has added new members in my friend list. I wondered whether such change should really make me sad or should I feel happy for my friends and try to move on making new friends.

Some of my friends feel sad if they don’t socialize or if they have to repeat their clothes. Some people get sad because of their pay packages or if they can’t dine at fine dine places. Many mothers are always in state of worry for their children’s progress. This feeling is more or less same across genders. Even men feel insecure and depressed. Possessing certain branded things can make someone happy. Recently I overheard a friend that any mobile brand other than Apple makes her feels sad.

Friends my point is does really a situation, place or event should make us happy or sad. This seems to be a real tough question.

Friends this thought process was fuelled recently when I took my daughter to travel by a local train. I felt she should realize little bit atleast the efforts and struggle which people around have to go through while travelling by public transport daily. But to my surprise she was super happy and infact concluded that local trains are so much pleasure. She loved the speed, the stops, the breeze, the variety of people around. She enjoyed clicking pictures at the station. She totally ignored the crowd, the filth on tracks, the noise around. This is a very common phenomenon. Whenever we go to crowded places like beach or malls children are enjoying themselves ignoring the chaos and crowd around. They are happy and cheerful. This is because they choose to be happy in present. Playing with friends in park or in small lobby makes them equally excited. There is so much we can learn from them.

I had a set of benefits, positive points as well as certain missing elements in my earlier work. Today with change in nature of my work I have been able to achieve the missing elements but problems are still there. Nature of problems and benefits are different.

I recently read that Happiness is something we can choose. In materialistic world options are infinite. Achieving everything is not possible. This is no way means we should not see dreams or we should not be ambitious. But presence or absence of certain defined things or situations should not make us sad. This theory is difficult to implement but if we try consciously we can be at peace in every situation.

Friends I love this philosophy and trying to implement it. Success or failures in life are result of multiple factors. Materialistic and non materialistic achievements are also end result of several efforts and elements combined together. All factors, all elements may not be on our side always. No situation, no achievement, no gain is permanent. So also the feeling of happiness attached to them. If change is law of nature we can atleast try to make ourselves at peace for longer duration. We can try to achieve peace of mind by putting our maximum efforts and giving our best shot to any situation. If we are true to ourselves and at peace, outcome will gradually cease to define our happiness. We can try to engineer our minds to be calm and unruffled in any situation. We can try to be satisfied with what we have and not crying or cribbing about what is missing. Satisfaction and Peace of mind are ultimately the core of our happiness

Steve Maraboli has rightly said,

“Happiness is a state of mind, a choice, a way of living; it is not something to be achieved, it is something to be experienced.”