Forgiveness

“We are often let down by the most trusted people and loved by the most unexpected ones.”

Such a true statement!!! I had some very bitter experiences in recent past when my trust in family and friends bonding was shaken .I felt deeply sad and wondered how people we have trusted and been with from childhood ,can behave so weird and break our trust and faith in humanity. I was in extreme anguish for some time. But life moves on. My near and dear ones tried to convince me to let go and bury the bad memories. With busy schedules ,I have been able to wipe off the bad memories but not been able to forgive.

Few days back I came across a video on social networking site of an aged woman narrating her ordeal during II world war and how she has overcome her pain. It moved me and I realized that when she can forgive after 50 years of suffering and free herself from the baggage ,anyone can do it. She looked so calm and composed while narrating her life experiences and her process of forgiveness. I felt she could achieve so much of peace only because she had really wiped of all the anger, frustration and hatred.

Friends ,from childhood we are trained to say sorry and seek forgiveness for our wrong words or actions. But we are not equally trained to forgive people around us. As children we are told to forget and move on. But are we explained the real meaning of forgiveness?? Infact forgiveness word is missing in our life dictionary till something really hurts or some serious event shakes our belief.

I myself ,say sorry so easily to people around but when it comes to forgiveness I realize it is not so easy.

I have realized that whenever someone doesn’t behave according to our anticipation or expectation or whenever somebody intentionally does something bad to us, our immediate reaction is anger, sorrow which if not properly handled gets converted to constant grudge, hatred and some bitter memories. Such memories are actually a blockage in our minds. They have no actual relevance in our day to day lives.

I have seen so many people around who have grudge against some people for years together. At workplaces too I have seen many hating their seniors or colleagues for some wrong treatment or miscommunication. Many times some beautiful relations get ruined because of some misunderstanding or misbehavior.I have realized that many times people who gave such experiences move on unaware of the pain or ordeal we are going through. They don’t even realize that they have done something wrong. We have no control on anyone’s action or behavior. We don’t even have the power to go in past and rectify the actions or events. We are not even programmed to think or take revenge like typical Hindi movies and serials which otherwise also is a futile exercise. By not letting off go the memories and the emotions attached to the events we are the ones who are carrying the baggage. Such kind of baggage pollutes our otherwise clean thought process and starts affecting our present too.

Irritation is the most common trait of people who are not able to forgive. Such irritation starts taking toll on emotional, mental and consequently physical health too. Having said so to forgive is actually the easy way out to free ourselves from the slow poisoning of hatred and anger.

I always felt that this is all bookish and not practical. To forgive is sign of weakness , to forgive is to be little in front of wrong doers but the video made me realize that forgiveness is actually a manifestation of inner strength and value system. Only people who have control over their mind and intellect can forgive consciously.When we say sorry we are actually asking for forgiveness. So actually this is cyclical phenomenon. If we cannot forgive how can we expect forgiveness .

Forgiveness can be painful for time being but in long run it can definitely bring in peace. We should consider it as a gift to ourselves-gift of peace ,calm and protection from further harm.Like meditation or yoga ,forgiveness also needs practice. It cannot be achieved overnight.It is a process I guess we can make forgiveness a regular habit. Daily we have some negative moments .At day end ,we can introspect and just try to overcome them. This way we can cultivate this quality and train our mind and intellect. If the relations are precious and if the mistakes are unintentional, forgiveness can save many relations from getting spoiled.

Friends, I feel it is rightly said that people come in our life for some reason, either to teach us some lesson or to stay forever. It is in our benefit to free our minds and move on being more wise and strong. Life is short and we have much more positive -productive things to do, lots of people to love and care for and create beautiful moments and memories.

“If you want to see the brave, look to those who can return love for hatred.

If you want to see the heroic, look to those who can forgive”

-Bhagavad Gita