Absolute happiness

Today online results were declared for a competitive exam held in school. I was in office when I got to know result of my daughter. She had scored fair enough marks and I was happy that despite me not giving her sufficient time, she had scored well. After some time when i was back home, I came to know that many students had scored more marks than her in class and for a second, thought flashed across my mind that even she could have done that better. Immediately I rectified my thought process. I was satisfied with her independent performance and there was nothing to think about more.

Friends this is a very common phenomenon experienced by many of us. Most of the times our happiness is linked to some parameter. Society around us is playing directly or indirectly an important role in shaping our thought process. Our happiness is in most of the case, linked to specific factors which may or may not be in our individual control.

I was at peace when I took a backseat in my professional work for different priorities. Initially I enjoyed that space and my changed work style. But over a period many people around me, started commenting about my changed preferences. They kept wondering how an academic topper could, focus on something else other than professional work. At times this disturbed me. I lost my patience and sometimes I too was pushed in self doubt zone. Despite taking a conscious decision I started feeling unhappy at times. But at end of every day I used to self introspect and reaffirm what I wanted to do really at that point of time. This self introspection helped me come out and keep my priorities intact. Similarly when I started writing many felt I was indulging in some time pass activity which was non remunerative. Many wondered who is going to read and I was just wasting my talent and instead should utilize time and energy for something more lucrative. But friends I have I realized that happiness is not in doing what other expect you to do but in what we ourselves want in life. I write and I work only because it makes me happy. I can work or write because I am motivated from inner self and not because someone else is advising me to do it.

At some point or other in life, we all face this situation. We are happy in our own space but then if we put ourselves in comparison to something we start feeling uneasy. This uneasiness, discomfort is root cause of all competitiveness and jealousy and resulting misery.

I have seen many people doing very well in life but still unhappy because they are missing what their peers have achieved. There is a thin line of difference between being motivated and being competitive and dissatisfied. I always feel that motivation for anything should be independent of what is happening around us.

In a wedding two ladies happened to wear same designer saree. But since one had got it cheaper, the other lady started feeling bad.Two friends who had always been together since childhood could no longer confide in each other since one was insecure about professional progress of another at latter stage of life. A lady with two daughters saw someone having son after 2 daughters and took chance in anticipation of same. Third time she was blessed again by daughter. Every time in her life till date she expresses her dissatisfaction of not having son. All her daughters are well placed and so successful and responsible. But this feeling of missing made her unhappy. A person doing well in job started feeling uneasy when his colleague got posted overseas.

We generally tend to look for appreciation in any achievement. A person earning millions may not be satisfied unless people around recognize that he is wealthy. He tries to flaunt it just to gain recognition of his money and power. A person performing his duties in job efficiently need not feel motivated unless being appreciated by his employer and organisation.A person possessing mini car may always dream of owning sedan. A girl wearing gold jewellery may keep on longing for diamonds. A small flat dweller may dream of owning a 4bhk.bBeing ambitious is good .But we need to be aware of the fact that there is always something better than what we possess or have the capacity to achieve.

Whenever happiness is linked to some action, event, person or location unhappiness actually creeps in. I feel happiness of any person should be absolute. A person should try to seek solace in whatever he has done, he is doing or aspiring to do or. Rather than comparing with others it is better to be happy in one’s own space.

We need to recognise our likes, our preferences and our abilities and focus on what makes us happy.

There is no limit to better things in world but that doesn’t mean that we can run and achieve each and everything. I strongly feel that this comparison is actually meaningless and can lead us to nowhere.

Friends, there is nothing wrong in aspiring or longing. But this should never create unrest or feeling of dissatisfaction in this moment of life. The minute we become unhappy with our current status our mind gets corrupt and we start losing our peace and sanity. Irritation and jealousy are outcomes of such unhappiness.

We can take full responsibility of any outcome when we take decisions independently. Then even if outcomes are not as anticipated we may be at peace. But if we keep on moving as people around us want or perceive us we may not be in a state to accept any adverse situation in life.

Friends we all want to be happy in life. Happiness is our own state of mind and I feel it should be independent of what others feel or perceive about us. Being happy should be our own decision and it should be absolute in all respects.