Mirror,Mirror on the wall

“Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?” asked the beautiful but wicked Queen in the fairy tale Snow White.We all know how obsessed the queen was with her beauty and how she met her doom .I feel Mirror is very deceptive.It only shows external being and misleads us.

Most of us are concerned about how we look and everytime we look in mirror,are not too happy or 100% satisfied.Is looking perfect ,really so important?

Today I got a chance to converse with my friend's teenage daughter. We were discussing about topic she had selected for her school event. I was really surprised when I listened to her talking about "Body-Shaming”. A girl of her age looked so concerned and I wondered how oblivious I was about this term till a few years ago.

Thanks to social media the word "Body-Shaming “has gained a lot of popularity over the past few years. As per Oxford dictionary, Body shaming means "the action or practice of humiliating someone by making mocking or critical comments about their body shape or size."

In common parlance ,we call it teasing but this is a very specific and crucial term with a lot of stigma involved.With increasing importance being attached to looking fab always and undermining of basic life values this phenomenon is badly affecting many people all around.I feel the constant exposure to glam world on digital media has been a contributing factor.

During childhood it is common to use terms like moti, jadi, fatty.I remember during school days, it used to be a part and parcel of daily life. Yes we felt bad when somebody teased us but it was quite temporary.Terms like fatty /skinny start bothering when one enters teenage . Teenage is a vulnerable age when hormonal changes make everyone conscious of individuality. People all over the world have a tendency to judge by looks in first instance. So if someone makes some unpleasant remark it hurts or disturbs a lot. Some are too thin. They are called anorexic while some are overweight and teased as fatty. Teenagers are not always mature or capable to handle the humor part involved. This can affect some really bad. It starts affecting their personality and inner peace. If someone is constantly hammered based on looks, unknowingly inferiority complex,jealousy starts building up which can affect the confidence and mental health badly in long run.

Fat or too thin people of any age group have to constantly face the society pressures.Eat or don't eat this,wear or don't wear this outfit,do this exercise or go to this dietitian and so on.Criticism and suggestions keep on pouring. Not all are strong enough to accept and face the world without any inhibition. People who indulge in such acts may do it with intention of bullying sometimes but I guess in most of the cases they are not even aware what damage they are causing to the targeted individual. Body shaming victims are seen going into depression or resorting to unhealthy and dangerous methods for addressing their weight issues.

One needs to understand that weight ,height or looks are not always in our control and are to certain extent determined by our genes.In life what really matters is our fitness-physical, emotional and mental.We need to undertstand and make all youngsters realise that people have a habit to comment and we should be able to ignore them."Kuch toh log kahenge,logo ka kaam hain kehna"

If we constantly feel low about our looks, our emotional and mental well being is bound to get affected. Instead I feel we need to concentrate on being fit and capable. Many times I have seen fat people being more fit and happy than slim people. Or too slim people having better resistance and immunity . So being fit and energetic is more important than being fat or thin. Equally important is being mentally and emotionally stable and happy. If all the time we are conscious of our weight or looks I feel we are wasting precious time which can be utilized fruitfully for enhancing our awareness and skill sets. What we are inside reflects in our personality and confidence. How we present ourselves, how we express ourselves, our mannerisms ,our character is all that matters in long run.

Good looks can give us temporary attention and praise. In real life, our relations and success is determined by our efforts,skills, capabilities , intentions and not just by how we look. I feel eating what makes us feel good and strong , exercising regularly and having healthy lifestyle is mantra for good life. But this should not be motivated with fear of society or for gaining praise from people around. All healthy habits should be made a part of life for our own self. To be fit and happy needs to be an intrinsic feeling.

Loving our own selves and loving others is important than having good curves.

Someone has rightly said,

"I am imperfect and yet my imperfections,

like any great work of art,

are what make me a masterpiece"

I have decided to say this everytime I see myself in mirror .Accepting ourselves is the key to being happy. Inner happiness reflects in the form of pleasant and cheerful personality.

Fat or thin, curvy or flat, tall or short should never matter. Being fit, energetic, positive, confident,capable, loving, caring is all that matters for a good happy life.