Happiness-State of Mind
“Khushiyan bahut sasti hain is duniya main,
Hum hi dhoondte hain usein mehengein dukano main”-Unknown
It was peak summer and as I was about to leave office, when a colleague gave me an ice-cream cone, being his birthday. I wished him and left with the cone in hand. The moment I was to board the cab, I saw a small girl begging with her parents near our gate .It was May month and I could see her plight with no water and food. I immediately handed her the cone and her joy knew no limits. The happiness in her eyes and the glee on her face created a lifetime moment.
This is the same happiness which is described by people who regularly visit orphanages and old aged homes. People living there are looking forward to spend time with us. It is not always about donations or gifts or materialistic contributions made to them. Time spent with them is also important. They are happy that someone is there to inquire about them, to share their experiences, to live some moments with them. They look for some bonding involving warmth and care. Such warmth and care cannot be valued in monetary terms. Their joy and their feelings give peace which cannot be described in words alone.
The time and social structure in which we are living have conditioned our minds knowingly and unknowingly in a way that we tend to attach happiness in most of the cases to certain tags linked to materialistic achievements and possessions.
Whenever I see children playing amongst themselves and their excitement, I realize that innocence is so vivid during this phase. They seek pure joy in playing. Then whether they have expensive toys or not, doesn’t make much difference. They happily share whatever they have amongst themselves. This is true in case of destitute as well as children of high end societies. The joy of children in slums playing with old tyres is more or less similar to children playing with footballs or expensive toys and gadgets.
I feel the innocence and purity of our minds gets polluted as we grow up. We gift children what they like whenever they score good marks or achieve something. Adopting a carrot approach is a common tendency. This can make them easily feel that achieving something can give them something to make them happy .We celebrate special occasions at some fancy restaurants or locations wearing the best of clothes and accessories. We indulge in lots of selfies and photographs to capture those moments. Our happiness and celebration gets linked to doing something hatke on such occasions. Once the vacation time begins for children, social networking sites are filled with people updating about their vacations at some picturesque, hot shopping destinations. It is extremely good to be happy and enjoying life.
My point is that in this pursuit we need not forget that happiness is something above all these. Happiness is state of mind where we are in peace. This state of mind can be achieved in moments which need not necessarily be bought by money alone. We need to be aware of this and make our children aware of same as they grow up.We need to derive happiness in any state of life. All human beings wish to be happy. We all work day and night to be happy. But at the end of day ,our lifestyle becomes so mechanical wherein we get away from inner self.If we condition our minds in a way that having or possessing something only ,can make us happy and satisfied we can never be at peace.
Having a good degree, good job, flourishing business, some good car, a spacious flat, bank balance, branded accessories, gadgets, annual vacations and so on...the list becomes never ending..It is good to dream and work for achieving same. It helps us to be motivated and move forward in life. But we need to be consciously aware that we need to be happy even when we are working towards achievement of dreams. Materialistic possessions are temporary and there is no limit to having something better always in terms of quality and variety.It may happen that one person remains stressed throughout his journey for achieving something and when time comes to see the result he may not longer be alive.
Friends, we all need to take time to make our souls happy on day to day basis. Happiness should not be an end but an integral part of whatever we are doing. Doing good sincere work with integrity can be a source of immense satisfaction. We need to search for avenues or activities which give us pure joy. Some may find happiness in music while there may be some who find happiness in running or cycling. There are certain who find happiness in cooking or writing. I have seen people so happy contributing their time at Gurudwaras or social welfare centres. Once we start finding happiness in such activities it can develop into a habit to be happy without achieving something materialistic.
A person can be equally happy in walking as he is while driving a BMW.It all depends upon our perspective. The more we start attaching our peace and happiness to materialistic things , the more sad and stressed we are bound to be. Ask a businessman with multiple factories and thousands of employees or a film star with millions of fan following. They may be maintaining a high end lifestyle and managing turnover running in crores.But they may not be so happy with those achievements rather may be more stressed than common individual. Their happiness may be in spending some quality time with family. The fat balance in bank may not necessarily match peace which time spent with family can give.
Friends’ happiness can be seeing a flower bloom in our balcony garden, enjoying time with friends in rain, having a chai pakora party or just dancing on favourite number. Having some deep conversations with our dear ones can be bliss. It can be anything. It is a conscious choice we all need to make to be happy.
"Happiness is a state of mind, a choice, a way of living; it is not something to be achieved, it is something to be experienced.”- Steve Maraboli
