Insecurity

I was in conversation with a friend who was struggling to have a stable career. I was wondering that despite being professionally qualified and having good track record why she was facing problem. After sometime she shared that her hubby was not in favour of her doing corporate job for fear of her making male friends at workplace. This insecurity has been hampering her career choices over years. She doesn't say anything because she prefers peace in life than proving her hubby wrong.

Insecurity- uncertainty or anxiety about oneself is one of the most negative trait of human personality.It is outcome of lack of self confidence and self belief.

The other day we were in midst of office meeting when one member got irritated. I had observed his this reaction in every meeting when someone asked him update or reason for delay in work. I had a word with him once casually and realised he had a lot of fear about his job, increment, pension fund. I could make out his defensive behaviour was just his insecurity trying to avoid situation of trouble.

Friends, Insecurity in any form has always been destructive. Arrogance, jealousy and hatred are in some way actually camouflage of insecurity.If we study Indian mythology, most of the events were triggered by insecurity of some. In Ramayana, Queen Kaikeyi was insecure,so send Ram on exile. In Mahabharat, King Dhritarashtra was insecure and extremely protective about his son Duryodhan and kept on covering his mistakes without realising harm done in long run. In most of the stories Devas are seen to be insecure about Asuras growing power and vice versa.

At workplace, many individuals are insecure about job, salary, promotion or position. In case of some it motivates to give their best while in case of same it overshadows their original personality. They operate with feeling of fear and complex. They generally prefer to stay away from eyes of all. They shy from taking responsibility for any decisions and actions. Such people don't prefer teamwork since they are afraid of someone else taking away credit or their position. They avoid sharing information and knowhow for same reason.

Not only in office but we get to see insecurity around us day in day out. In one case a young lady never allowed her partner to visit his parents home alone for fear they might manipulate his thought process against her. In another case, a person was so worried about medical expenses in old age that he did not allow his family members to spend even normally. His entire focus was in savings for future. His insecurity did not allow him or his family to enjoy present life peacefully.

Any kind of insecurity ruins life of not only that individual but people around with no fault.Insecurity kills all beautiful things in life. It kills confidence, trust, dreams, warmth to name a few.If closely observed seeds of most of the insecurities are sown during childhood. For instance, parents who keep on comparing, shouting and pointing out mistakes of their kids are actually responsible for affecting confidence in negative way. It is important to instil good values during childhood but we need to try to maintain a balance. Constant criticism and comparison gives birth to feeling of inadequacy in any person .This inadequacy over a period gets converted to insecurity. Kids who are insecure are seen resorting to cheating ,telling lies or in extreme cases even consuming drugs. They somehow wish to get away from feeling of losing or being vulnerable.

I know of a person whose parents always gave him examples of how people around were excelling .Their entire focus since childhood was to get him admitted to good college and then him having a good job with high package.In this process they forgot to instil other humane values. He did exactly as they wished but became so obsessed about his career that today that has become a question of life or death for him. Any downfall in career makes him feel that's the end of life. His job insecurity has made him incapable of handling other personal issues in love, marriage, children. Real happiness and peace have taken a backseat. Rising number of suicide cases in society today are outcome of insecurities growing over period of time and inability to handle them .

Every individual need to love himself or herself. Self love and self respect are keys to feeling adequate in life. Confidence is the outcome of this adequacy. Without this confidence we can never live life fully and accept the changes and challenges in life.Insecurity is like a slow poison which kills anyone from within slowly. We need to identify our fears, our insecurities and try to overcome them in best possible way. If required help needs to be sought from loved ones. Seeking timely help is utmost important.Love and compassion can help to address all insecurities.As human beings, it is our responsibility to help anyone struggling with insecurity. Unless we feel complete, we can never love someone wholeheartedly and live life to fullest. Almighty has bestowed us with virtues and qualities which if consciously nurtured and used can help us grow.Everyone is born complete and one needs to be aware of this truth to remove any mental /emotional blocks and enjoy blissful life..