30s40s

I was standing in a queue at the billing counter of a diagnostic center quite apprehensive. The pandemic had discouraged me from taking regular checkups and today I was here after almost 3 years a little worried to take up scans. A young boy and girl were at the billing counter. As soon as I reached the desk the boy asked me my name and age. When I mentioned 40 he looked at me and asked to confirm again ..is it 30 or 40? At that very moment, I burst out in laughter.30? somebody just asked me whether I was 30. What a moment!

I have always believed in aging gracefully and so age had never bothered me.I have always loved the child in me and have tried to keep it alive. But lately, the number 40 has started affecting me. I had always avoided coloring my hair but then those grey streaks made me look really pale. So first it was coloring the hair. In the last two years, screen time has considerably increased and on some days I felt vision little blurred. Somebody was fast to remark. Arey it is very normal to have glasses once you reach 40. In Marathi, they refer to it as "chalishitla chashma". Luckily on checking it was just too much stress and no number. For the last few months, I have been troubled with some gynec problems and all around had the same observation . Hormonal changes are common after 40. Be prepared for it.OMG, what's this all about 40? So when the boy mentioned 30 the thought itself was so wonderful.10 years rewind. Wow.

When I look behind the time after carefree teens, has passed by so fast. The 20s were full of hectic work schedules and adapting to different cities and lifestyles.30s were all about parenting and managing professional life with personal life. At 40 it's a mixed feeling. It is a time when health is giving signals that I cannot take it for granted. It has to be nurtured. Personal requirements need to be aligned with professional aspirations. Challenges as parents of teenagers have to be addressed. At the same time our parents are aging and we need to support them emotionally. So all in all this is a very different stage of life.It is a mix of responsibility and awareness. In the 20s or.30s, there is a feeling that we are so free and we have so much to achieve but at 40 I feel it's more about experiences and awareness. It is about exploring the world from a different perspective. A few years back people used to wait for retirement year. i.e around 60 years of age to pause and think about a higher purpose or rest in life. Most of them kept on postponing plans till retirement. But times have changed and so has the psyche. I feel 40 is the ideal time for Retrospection. What is to be prioritized in life needs to be decided consciously. It is about finding meaning and direction in life. It is about understanding that every moment is to be enjoyed and lived to the fullest. Learning is always a continuous process. But in a while what the journey has so far taught needs to be understood, and revised and steps to be taken for achieving the purpose of life. While taking care of this machine that runs the show the soul voice is to be heard and a path is to be carved in.