Game of Perception

During childhood our favourite time pass while sleeping on terrace during summers used to be guessing what is the design on moon. Sometimes it seemed like rabbit sometimes mother with a child and so on. We siblings will then discuss with our Nani what we saw and how we were individually correct. Never knew this is what perception is all about.

As years passed different things were learnt. Surroundings have their own impact. This is ethical, this not correct, this should be avoided, this is wrong and unknowingly mind starts classifying happenings around. What is readily accepted to society becomes good code of conduct. Doing something not as per norms requires additional courage and if attempted a sense of achievement used to creep in. But then there comes a time in everyone's life where question starts appearing why this is acceptable why and not this. Why we need to behave in a way society expects us to.

I feel Lao Tzu has rightly said, “Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”

Right or wrong, good or bad, ethical or unethical these all concepts are not so easy to comprehend and implement in strict sense of word. Their relevance and meaning are different as per situations and circumstances. What is right in a situation may appear to be wrong in another case. This is true in case of individuals too. How an individual’s behaviour is perceived varies from person to person.

We had a very strict geography teacher in school. I had recently joined and everyone told me why I should be afraid of her. She believed in values and perfect discipline. There used to be pindrop silence when she used to walk in corridor of school. Big bindi, superbly draped saree and short haircut. She had an aura around her. She made geography so interesting with her teaching and her oratory was mind blowing. She explained importance of values in life in our growing years. In no time she became my favourite and I always looked up to her. I never felt afraid of her like my friends. It was immense respect which had replaced her fear.

I remember there was an aunt who always dressed as if attending some event or occasion on normal days. She looked beautiful wearing jewellery, make up, heavy sarees and I always wondered why she is so dressed up always. But that was like her trademark. She was known to be like that. I had heard some making fun also about how she got time and how she managed all chores like that.While some admired how she maintained herself so consistently. She never changed. That was her way of living and enjoying life

When I met my bestie, he was the most reserved person in office. He rarely interacted or talked to anyone much. But then we got an assignment together and I realized he talked only when necessary but is one of the most sorted and sensible persons I have known. He talked a lot if subject matter interested him. When some of my colleagues found difficult communicating to him, I found my best friend in him. He always felt I talked endlessly (although I consider myself to be an introvert) and till date even though we don’t get to communicate regularly we have treasured our understanding.

These and many such examples around over the years have made me realize that every individual is different with some very specific characteristics. And how an individual is perceived depends entirely upon the experience people have with him.Every individual has a set of principles and values. And how he behaves and how people accept his behaviour depends entirely upon every particular circumstance.

A boss who is considered to be extremely strict and stubborn by many, may be considered to be extremely knowledgeable and caring by some. It depends upon his interaction and communication with different employees across organisation, work of employees and their response to his requirements. I have myself experienced this during work that being truthful and blunt many times hurt people around. We feel we are doing just our duty but then people feel bad and start reacting unnecessarily. In such case it becomes necessary to empathise and move on without compromising on our work principles.

Mother in law of a friend is a very cordial and warm person. Watching her talk so affectionately always made me feel she must be a very caring mother in law. But when I expressed same before my friend she was like no way. She had so many complaints about her behaviour and over socializing nature inviting all to her home always and shifting all workload to her.

Game of perception is indeed crux of human relations.

I heard a story recently of a person who married his lost love after 7 years. It so happened that his girlfriend married because of family pressure. She was never happy in marriage and after seven years and a child she and her husband separated. She then married her lost love and moved on with her son and they now live as a happy family. Who can decide what is right what is wrong? Love prevails over everything in life. To many this was too filmy to accept but for many it was sweet love story with desired outcome.

There may be situations in life which may seem to be extremely problematic to some, while just a part of life to others. For instance, this corona pandemic. We can see people approaching it in different ways based on their experience and understanding.

Lord Krishna is epitome of Dharma.His stories are iconic and considered to be guiding light for all.But then recently I saw story of his son Samba being against him. He perceived him differently than all his devotees. I was convinced that even Lord has to deal with problem of perception.

Fact is what people say or feel is entirely their way of looking at things. What we need to understand, is that we need to do what we feel is right at particular point of time. We need to be happy and convinced about what we are doing. Also being aware of this perception we should try not to be judgmental about anyone. We just need to be observers and be open to different views. When our mind is open, we can accept people easily. Everyone wants to grow, be happy and be successful. In this pursuit how one behaves is not in our control. If we understand game of perception, we can be true to ourselves, behave freely without worrying about what people will think and live life in a much simpler way.