Race To Perfection

I was talking to a friend who sounded very low. On enquiring, she shared that she had been trying her best to be the best mom and daughter-in-law. She cooked a variety of dishes, provided personal attention to all the needs of family members, took care of all guests, kept house spick and span, followed all rituals. Still, she felt family members did not appreciate her enough. And due to multitasking, she was getting exhausted. She had no time to pursue her interests. This is not an isolated case. If we observe around there are many who have given up their passion, personal interests to excel or prove they are the best and still perfection seems a distant goal to them.

I always wonder is there any kind of proof really enough to achieve the tag of being Perfect.

See the number of extracurricular or co-curricular activities ads flashing across all platforms. Parents want their kids to pursue sports, music, dance, drawing, coding everything. Everyone feels their kid should be an all-rounder. Providing exposure to kids is absolutely fine and in fact good but pressurizing them to be good in everything is really taxing. Who has defined that being an all-rounder will mean kids will be having a good life. Isn't training to be happy also necessary. Who train kids that it is absolutely fine to be mediocre also. One needs to be content and find happiness every day every moment. Instead, all kids are seen rushing behind multiple activities.Can all grow to be perfect individuals.?

I feel Perfection in any relationship is also a myth. There is no word like perfect actually. We are not robots configured to do every task with predetermined steps. We all are operating in dynamic situations and circumstances. And as long as one is loving and caring one tries to do whatever is best in any condition. If the intent is pure and genuine then one needs to accept shortcomings and lacunas gracefully.

I took up a job after working from home for few years and decided to put my kid in the best daycare center. I researched all aspects. After deep research, I finalized a center and with God's grace, it was really very good. One day she had her vacation going on and I requested househelp to drop the kid at daycare while leaving from work. I went to the office and got a call from her that Didi, daycare is closed today. She dropped the kid at a neighbors house and I started crying on the office desk. I felt like a terrible mother. Till that day I had been a vigilant mother paying attention to all details. I rushed home and there my daughter was playing. She was cool and said mummy it is ok. I know you are working and it is ok to forget. It took several days to get out of the guilt that I had not seen the message from daycare informing me about the holiday. Over time I realized that even if I tried to excel I was bound to fail at times. Managing both fronts have many challenges and we can just be sincere and loving.

During the recent lockdown, everyone had to multitask and it became very clear that managing all fronts is not an easy thing. It is ok to take up one task at a time.

I see some people crib about their parents not providing them all comforts or opportunities during growing years But one needs to understand that every parent strives to give the best to their kid. Parents leave no stone unturned to see that their kid is raised in the best possible manner providing all comforts facilities. They too have their set of limitations sometimes. But is there any way to judge their love?

Many youngsters don't get married nowadays waiting for the perfect partner to turn up. I feel marriage is about companionship and not a perfect relationship. It is about sharing experiences, learning, and moving on together, complementing and supporting each other. Tags like perfect husband/ wife are unrealistic. Expression of love is a subjective term. Who can say what is perfect? If a wife is able to cook delicacies she seems to be perfect to many but there are also some who expect the wife to have an intellectual conversation or participate in sports activity together rather than spending time in the kitchen. One never knows. Similarly, a husband may not be interested in PDA and may like to have a silent dinner or secluded outings. Does not posing on social media make any couple less perfect or loving?

If one can cook 10 dishes there are others who can cook 40. If a couple takes their kid to 2 countries for vacation there are others who took to 10 countries, If you can bake perfect cake there are others who can manage a team of hundreds but don't know baking. If you walk only 20 mins and don't run in a marathon it's fine as long as you are fit and enjoy it. If you have 2 flats and 2 cars there are others who have 1 flat and no car.No one needs to feel less or guilty. Aiming for betterment or excellence is good but feeling sad, depressed, guilty about failing is not. This pressure of being perfect seems to take a toll at domestic as well as workplaces. People in pursuit of perfection forget to enjoy the process or current moment. They forget to be grateful for whatever they have. And this is like a mirage. This is an unending process.

Finally what matters is how much you loved and cared for during your lifetime. One needs to be happy and positive. One needs to be healthy- emotionally and physically. We are here to grow and in search of our true selves. No one can judge and we are here to prove to no one. The decision happens finally in presence of Almighty and he surely never expects us to be perfect.